News

Jan 8, 2014

Lords of Luxury Return to Perth Fringe

Remember Gremlins 2? Remember how good it felt to be back in the bosom of Gizmo and all his friends, wreaking havoc through a newly built skyscraper and striking fear into the people of New York City?

Well, just like that, the Lords of Luxury have been covered in water and fed after midnight, and are now coming back to Fringeworld and there's nothing you or any of the citizens of Perth can do to stop us. COWER BEFORE THE LORDS.

But wait, there's more! Because this year we return with not one but TWO BRAND NEW SHOWS, meaning that you have twice the opportunity to bask in our radiant comedy glory (and help pay for our failed investment in Kidapults – the fun, fully-working catapult for kids aged 8 and under).

The Lords of Luxury: The Lords of Luxury

Fresh from a critically acclaimed, sell-out season at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, the Lords bring to the De Parel Spiegeltent a completely new hour of comedy, sketch, lunacy, robots, romance, wine tasting and some light hypnosis. It will be even better than an, uh, heaps good thing. Here's a review that says how good we are. Which is like heaps good.

The Lords of Luxury: After Dinner Mint

"But I don't want to go to bed!" we hear you cry. Well now you don't have to because the Lords are staying up all the way until 11 pm and there's nothing you can do about it, Mum. After Dinner Mint is a never-before-seen late night variety format where a selection of the festival's finest join us on stage to strut their stuff and partake of all-in, take-no-prisoners, audience-involving (but in, like, a fun way) games. Think classy cigar lounge meets much less classy house party. With three different guests every night and a constantly rotating roster of games, no two shows will ever be the same.

By which we obviously mean you should come more than once. See you there Luxuriators!


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Apr 2, 2013

The Lords of Luxury at the Melbourne Comedy Festival

What ho, Luxuriants!

Well, you waited and you waited. You begged and implored. You sent letter after letter after letter. But still they refused to bring back M*A*S*H. 

Fortunately for you, we have the next best thing! Us! In a show that has absolutely nothing to do with M*A*S*H but is still pretty good anyway we promise.

Fresh from a sell-out season at the Adelaide Fringe, the Lords bring a brand new, 100% never-before-seen-except-in-Adelaide-and-does-that-really-count show to the 2013 Melbourne Comedy Festival. Expect wine, magic, mirth and actual cake. Also, jokes.

WHEN: April 9th - April 20th (no show Monday 15th), 10 pm (9 pm Sundays)

WHERE: The Bookshop, Trades Hall

BUY TICKETS HERE. BECAUSE YOU CARE. BECAUSE YOU LOVE US. BECAUSE WE WANTED THIS LINK TO BE REALLY LONG AND OBVIOUS. TICKETS. 

We would love to see you down there. If you ask us nicely we may even pretend to be Alan Alda for you after the show. Because, well, you gotta respect M*A*S*H.

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Jan 30, 2013

Episode 4 - The Law of the Farm

Good morning / afternoon / evening / way-past-your-bedtime, Luxtables!

As Vivaldi, and certain motel chain founders, knew, seasons come in fours, so it's fitting that the fourth episode of this season of the Lords is the last one! SHIT! You've been taking us for granted haven't you! Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got until it's gone? (Johnny Midgell)

As a parting gift, we've saved the best sketches for last...

LISTEN TO IT ON ITUNES
or
STEAM THE FINAL EPISODE ON OUR SITE

In today's missive, you can get in your ears all sorts of japery, incl.

- The Lords start a restaurant!
- Then we accidentally start the Holocaust!
- "SPACESHIPS" finally ends! Thank Gods!; and
- A talking cow who may or not be a murderer!

And then that's it! We're over for another season... I guess that's it for our turbid, short-lived, extremely unilateral relationship... right...?

UM... NO! Because when castle-god raises a drawbridge, he opens a sally-port! You CAN still enjoy us, but not only with your ears! Now your eyes too! And if you're lucky, hands! Because:

TONIGHT WE START OUR LORDS OF LUXURY AUSTRALIAN TOUR!

We open in the famous Speigeltent at the Perth Fringeworld at 6pm this evening! Wanna be there? THEN CLICK HERE

Then follow us to Adelaide, for the Adelaide Fringe! THEN HERE'S WHERE TO CLICK.

Then, if you're really keen, hitchhike to Melbourne and see us at the Melbourne international Comedy festival! Tickets are now on sale! COMEDY FESTIVAL WESBITE IS HERE.

Wish us luck! We're far better on tape than on stage, so this is probably a huge mistake! Just kidding, it's solid platinum comedy gold. See you there!

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Jan 23, 2013

Episode 3 - Choose Your Own Adventure!

Well well well! If it isn't you, the person who once upon a time pretended to fall down a well, and if you had your yelling of the word 'well' would have echoed, sounding like 'well well well'. Well well. Well. IT'S YOU!

Well, you picked a good time to crawl out of your well, kiddo, because episode three of season two of The Lords of Luxury's totally free and totally awesome sketch comedy podcast is out. That's right, comedy has arrived for the third week running, and this week's insane compendium includes:

- A human and a bear have a dinner party!
- We premiere the new David Mamet project!
- The world ends, and some scientists draft a press release!
- And Brian Levant pitches a movie at Jerry Bruckheimer!

Holy wow! You can GET IT HERE!

Or, if for some reason you don't use iTunes (for the record, there are plenty of legit reasons, not least of which is being haunted by the ghost of Steve Jobs: he is fun, but vengeful), listen to it streaming on this very site!

Also, guess what? Well well! Also, well, well well! We're performing at not four but THREE festivals over the coming (gross) weeks!

If you're lucky enough to live in Perth, the most attractive city in Australia, see us at the PERTH FRINGEWORLD, from 31 January to the 15th of February! In the Spiegeltent! Tickets HERE!

If you're lucky enough to live in Adelaide, the most attractive city in Australia, see us perform at ADELAIDE FRINGE! From 21 to 23 of February! HERE for tickets!

And If you're lucky enough to live in Adelaide, the most attractive city in Australia, come see us at the MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL anyway! It's totally worth the travel expenses! We have a Zambreros now!

See you all next week for the final episode in season two! GET WELLING!

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Jan 16, 2013

Episode 2 – Grobert Simmington

Salutations, Luxembourgers!

Like a fat kid at a buffet (or Michael Jordan chowing down on a hot dog) it looks like you're back for seconds! But unlike tubby little Horace/Michael, we're not going to poke you and call you "pudding boy"! Instead, we're releasing episode two of the Lords of Luxury for you!

Last week's episode of our humble, and brilliant, podcast was pretty much rolled-gold genius and it deserves its place in history - in between the "t" and the "o", probably. But this week's contains more highlights than Aunty Zelda's perm! In it you will:

- Climb a snowy mountain!
- Visit Tajikistan!
- Discover the best bit of Angela Lansbury merchandise ever conceived; and
- Meet the mysterious GROBERT SIMMINGTON, the most amazing man in the world!

Not bad hey.

GET IT HERE!

Or if you're too cool for iTunes, you can listen to it on the website here.

And if you think it's really not bad hey, then why not see us in the flesh! And I don't mean wading through a vat of meat offcuts. Not again! I mean.... AT COMEDY FESTIVALS!

For those who live in the wild west, see us at the PERTH FRINGEWORLD, from 31 January to the 15th of February! In the Spiegeltent! Tickets HERE!

What if you're Southside? Come see us at the ADELAIDE FRINGE! From 21 to 23 of February! HERE for tickets!

Or say you're a Melburnian? Then what? Are you able to see us? Um... YES! At the MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL COMEDY FESTIVAL in fact! GET AMONGST IT.

Or how about if you're from Sydney? Well we're not performing there, but Dan can often be seen walking his pet chihuahua Chips down Bourke Street. TICKETS NOT REQUIRED.

Until next week, Luxtables!

Comments

Jan 9, 2013

Series 2 of the Podcast has arrived!

Yes Luxuriators! We're back with a new episode of audio sketches for your ear canals!

In episode one, we discover the worst sports restaurant in the world, discuss how to break up with women, travel through outer space on the Lordship and crack down on drugs.

So... get the episode from iTunes HERE.

Or listen to it on our site HERE.

Or else if all else fails download the MP3 HERE.

Then, get your tickets for our live shows at the Perth Fringeworld, Adelaide Fringe or Melbourne International Comedy Festival BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

See you next week for the second installment of Season 2....

Comments

Dec 27, 2012

Lords of Luxury be Near You in 2013

That's right Luxuriators! We're going to be treading the boards on a stage near you in 2013. I'm going to write more here later**, but for now here's where to buy tickets to our shows.

The Sand Gropers
Perth Fringe: The West Australian Idolize Spiegeltent, from January 31 to February 15.

TICKETS HERHERE HEREEERRRR HERE

The Crow Eaters
Adelaide Fringe: Tuxedo Cat, February 21-23

TICKETS ARE HERE. YEEEEEAAAAAH! TICKETS! 

The Mexicans
Melbourne International Comedy Festival: Trades Hall Bookshop, April 9 to April 20

TICKETS ON SALE SOON. 


All this and season 2 of the Podcast?!? 2013 will be Bananas!

** If it's April and this is still here: I couldn't be bothered to write more.

Comments

Apr 4, 2012

The Lords of Luxury come to Melbourne FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY

You hear that, Melbourne? That's the sound of the Lords of Luxury packing themselves into a novelty-sized clown car and hauling ass to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. But unlike the rest of those namby pamby comedians who are doing 20+ shows over the course of four weeks, the Lords of Luxury have decided to do it the hard way and compress all their comic awesomeness into two shows in a single night. For this is the Lords of Luxury – For One Night Only (But Twice In That One Night). LOLFONOBTINTON for short.

Fresh from a run at the Adelaide Fringe Festival where people said awfully nice things about us, like–

...

"These lads are so ridiculous it hurts... Keep your eyes on these guys, a flash in the luxurious pan they ain't" - Adelaide Advertiser

"Go see The Lords of Luxury before they slip through your comedy fingers, because LOL. Seriously, LOL." - Australian Stage

"A myriad of awkwardly hilarious sketch comedies... It was brilliant" - Rip It Up

...

– the Lords are primed, erect and ready and ready to take you on a comedy journey unlike any you've ever been on before. Unless you already saw us in Adelaide, in which case you will find this comedy journey uncannily familiar.

So, book the sitter, clear your schedule and chain your grandparents to the post in the backyard, because on the 17th of April you've got a date with the finest (and perhaps only) tuxedo-based sketch comedy this country has to offer. 7 pm or 9 pm – the choice is yours. Attendance, however, is definitely mandatory.

BOOK HERE AND BOOK NOW.


OR BOOK HERE AND BOOK NOW. IT'S THE SAME LINK, BUT I'VE INCLUDED IT JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THE FIRST ONE DURING YOUR CURSORY GLANCE OF THE ARTICLE TEXT. IN WHICH CASE, SHAME ON YOU. I SLAVED FOR MINUTES, LITERALLY MINUTES, ON WRITING THIS AND YOU JUST SKIM ON PAST AS IF IT WAS NOTHING. FOR SHAME. FOR SHAAAAAAAAAAME. PLEASE COME TO OUR SHOW.

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Feb 2, 2012

The Lords of Luxury Come to the Adelaide Fringe

You know how sometimes you wish for something really, really hard and it comes true? Well, we wished really, really, really hard and then Paul got off that double murder charge and now the Lords of Luxury can come to the Adelaide Fringe Festival! Party! (Although Paul's not allowed within 50 metres of any enclosed shopping centres).

Here is our poster.

As you can see, we are hanging out with our friend, Napoleon. Just try and tell us you don't want to see comedy that has been endorsed by THE Napoleon. He was in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!

You can also see that our Melbourne Comedy Festival show was rapturously received by the critics. A near continuous hour of laughter? Phwoar. I don't even get that from my Aunt Ethel's semi-annual experiments with public ketamine ingestion.

If you're in Adelaide you simply MUST come and see it. No, you actually must. The city just passed a by-law making attendance mandatory. And who are we to argue with City Hall?

Tickets are here.

Buy them! Buy them now! Buy them before Paul kills again!

Comments

Mar 16, 2011

The Lords of Luxury: The Stage Show

Hello! And welcome to the Lords of Luxury!(.com) We hope that you enjoy your stay. Here are some things that you, yes, you, need to know about us. Yes, us.

1. We are four gentlemen named Paul, Luke, Matt and Dan with a passion for comedy, a zest for life and opposable thumbs. You can read more about us and our magical thumbs here.

2. We are also a SIX EPISODE SKETCH COMEDY PODCAST! Six whole episodes! That's 120 minutes of cold, hard quality. Do some pre-show research and have a listen - you can find them in MP3 form or else you can just cut out the middle man and subscribe to us on iTunes.

3. Matt once saw an actual walrus. He was talking about it for weeks.

4. The show may or may not involve a sketch that revolves around one of us having to eat a bucket of meat. Yummo.

6. Luke has an aversion to the number five.

7. Please come and see our show. It runs from the 12th to the 24th of April, Tuesday to Sunday at 6 pm (5 pm Sundays) in Vic's Bar at the Victoria Hotel, 215 Little Collins St.

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS TO OUR INCREDIBLE SHOW FROM THIS LINK WHOOOOOOOOOA DO IT DO IT NOW

It is almost upon us! Are you excited?! I know we are. Especially Paul.

Comments

Dec 17, 2010

Episode Six: The End (OR IS IT?!) (IT IS!) (FOR NOW...)

-1

Hark, dear listeners, hark, for the end... the end is nigh! The end of laughter, the end of joy, the end of hope.

The end of The Lords of Luxury.

What pleasures will our final episode hold? What horrors? What ill-advised cameos? What snacks? What words beginning with Q? What awkwardly jammed in callbacks? There's only one way to find out: breaking into one of our Google accounts and then accessing the original scripts.

Oh.

I have just been informed that there is indeed a second way you can find out. Namely, by downloading and listening to the final episode of the podcast.

Probably should have thought of that first really.

DOWNLOAD THE MP3 HERE

SUBSCRIBE TO US ON ITUNES HERE (YES I KNOW THIS IS THE FINAL EPISODE BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN WERE GOING TO DROP SOME MORE COMEDY BOMBS ON YOUR SWEET, UNSUSPECTING EARHOLES SO YOU PROBABLY SHOULD SUBSCRIBE JUST TO BE SAFE. AFTER ALL YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY KID ON THE BLOCK THAT HASN'T HEARD THE LATEST LORDS OF LUXURY PODCAST DO YOU? WOW WHAT A LONG HYPERLINK)

FOLLOW US ON THE TWITTERS OVER HERE

LOVE US ON FACEBOOK HERE

AND WATCH A CAMEL DESTROY CHRISTMAS OVER HERE

 

And do rest easy loyal followers, because you haven't heard the last of The Lords of Luxury. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you've just heard the first!... six episodes. Of The Lords of Luxury.

But exciting things are afoot, for the Lords are performing a live action stage show spectacular at next year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Keep your eyes, ears and fingers peeled (ouch!) over the coming months because we'll be dumping periodic updates on this very website/Twitter feed/Facebook page to let you know how we're getting on and how you can send romantic letters to us.

And now as we bid you a fond and temporary adieu, we say thanks for coming along with us on this magical journey of laughter and friendship and FUCK THIS SHIT LET'S PARTY!

Comments

Dec 16, 2010

Episode Six - Cast List

INTRODUCTIONEER/OUTRODUCTIONEER

Paul Verhoeven

THE LORDS OF LUXURY SAVE THE DAY

NARRATOR: Luke Ryan
LONE SCIENTIST: Matt Saraceni
JIMMY: Dan Debuf
MATT: Matt Saraceni
DAN: Dan Debuf
LUKE: Luke Ryan
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
MRS PRESIDENT: Sophie Miller
GIBBERING MANIAC: Luke Ryan
MARRAKECH TOURIST INFORMATION BOOTH ASSISTANT: Luke Ryan
DIRTY SANCHEZ: Luke Ryan
AIDEN: Dan Debuf
MICKEY ROONEY: Luke Ryan
CLOUD WHO IS A VENDOR BUT YOU CAN’T TELL BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE THIS IS JUST A CHARACTER NAME: Matt Saraceni

BROBOTS

MASTEROFCEREMONIESBOT: Dan Debuf
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
DANBOT: Dan Debuf
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
CHIP: Dan Debuf
ROBODEAN: Paul Verhoeven
BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf

BRUNO PHELPS IN: "GUMSHOE"

BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
THELMA: Sophie Miller

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Dec 13, 2010

Lords of Luxury Fuck It Up (Vol. 5)


We Lords are not a very professional bunch. For example, we totally forgot to release a podcast last week! Whoops!

We're remedying this in two (3) ways:

We're releasing the bloopers from podcast five! Hear exactly how unprofessional we are as we fluff difficult lines like "six siths' crisp snacks" and "yes". Fun for the whole faminey!

MP3 HERE! HERE! HERE!

and
 
iTUNES LINK HERE! HERE! HERE! 


And also, we're releasing the much awaited sixth podcast this Thursday! It's the final LoL for the season, and so it features all of us, plus special celebrity guest, Wilmer Valderama! So just-

... oh...

... wait ...

Ummmm, sorry to get all "Sarah Murdoch" on you, but Wilmer has had to cancel at the eleventh hour, due to the fact that he is neither special nor a celebrity. Oh well! Even sans Wilmer, this podcast will be at least a six out of ten. And it's out this Thursday!

As you were, Luxembourgers!


Comments

Nov 29, 2010

Leslie Nielsen: A Tribute.


Leslie Nielsen has died, aged 308. Nielsen is one of the most prominent influences on the Lords of Luxury, and so here's a breakdown of exactly who he is, and just how deeply he's touched us. And we mean that in the most provocative sense. The first role taken by Leslie Nielsen which grabbed people's attention was this:


Yeah, that's a young Leslie Nielsen, looking all studly, as the lead in the 1956 science fiction masterpiece Forbidden Planet. Just check out that jawline. Holy shit, you could slice a venison sandwich in half on it. The point is, he began his career in dead earnest; he always had comic timing, but he picked films that were serious. Hell, Forbidden Planet was modelled after The Tempest. Nielsen even lent his name to the American Board of Certification, who had just instigated a system to be used for rating the public's ardour or disdain for the burgeoning 'talkies'. They named this system 'The Nielsen's', a name both comforting and arousing. The name so captured the public imagination that Warner commissioned a soap opera, called The Nielsen's, about a family of chiselled men living in a log cabin in the mountainous district near the Rockies dubbed by locals 'Cockhard McManCove'. The series was never produced.

Nielsen's ability to appeal to women, young, old and even deceased, may be due to his being born in the town of Regina, Saskatchewan. Throughout the fifties, he appeared in a wide array of dramatic roles, bagels and danishes. However it wasn't until 1980 that he graduated from his degree in Televisionistic Ambulation, a strictly honorary degree written into his extensive performers contract after a drunken evening with his agent and a gibbon known as Phil Spector III. Already white-haired and something of a veteran, he was cast in Airplane!, a parody of various movies which were addressing the looming threat to the nations youth at the time: the stewardess. He also delivered one of his most famous lines:



Part of his genius was his ability to appear impervious to comedy. He was the serious trustworthy actor who just didn't get it. This astounding ability, coupled with his bewilderingly enormous genitals, led to the creators of Airplane! asking him to create Police Squad with them. Police Squad only lasted six episodes, and apart from being one of the most searingly well written and acted comedies of all time, it also contained brilliant epilogues, all of which you can see below. Spoiler alert: they contain cast lists, which, if typed into google, MIGHT reveal plot points of the episodes of Police Squad or, if you're really lucky, the season finale of Dallas.



Six years after the totally bullshit cancellation of Police Squad (for which Nielsen was nominated for the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy), the creators decided to make a feature length film version for moviegoers. If you weren't a moviegoer, you were told to fuck right off. The series exploded into a trilogy, combining the razor-sharp timing of Nielsen, the harsh weathered face of Priscilla Presley, and the impending and hilarious non-glove fittery of O.J. Simpson.



It's pretty much mandatory to get all three films and watch them; they're peppered with comedic genius, as well as actual pepper, which was included with the original film prints as they were distributed to the cinemas. Nielsen's comedic roles after Naked Gun ranged from solid in Mel Brooks' Dracula: Dead and Loving It, to making everyone else look bad in Scary Movie 3.

It's a terrible traginold that he died, and we're eternally grateful for what Nielsen has done for comedy. He strolled into our lives, kicked everything we owned in dicks we didn't know the things we owned had, and walked away with a totally straight face. He was a pioneer, a shameless and entirely deliberate ham, and by all accounts, a shit-hot golfer. And the world is poorer without him. Although this is due partly to the fact that Nielsen, as everyone knows, had his bones filled with gold.

We'll miss you, Leslie.

- The Lords of Luxury

Comments

Nov 25, 2010

Episode Five: CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR!

 

Like an out-of-control locomotive or Roseanne Barr, we here at the Lords are unstoppable! And we have our own well stocked buffet! And like a rogue train or an ageing comedienne, we've stayed true to our word and released another punctual podcast on this, an every second Thursday.

And it's a holiday SPECTACULORD!

As we all know, it's Christmas time, and so this fortnight's LoL is a Christmas spectacular. Stuffed like a turkey, hot like a warm fire, hilarious like a bon bonbon bon mot, and leaving you feeling satisfyingly bloated.

How do you download it? 

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EPISODE FIVE CAST LIST

 

INTRODUCTIONEER / OUTRODUCTIONEER:

Paul Verhoeven


LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS:

PRESENTER: Dan Debuf

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni

MORTICIAN: Luke Ryan

PERSONAGE OF HOLIDAY CHEER: Paul Verhoeven


CHRISTMAS AD EXPLOSION:

ENTHUSED NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven


JESUS AND FRIENDS

NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven

PETER: Matt Saraceni

JESUS T. CHRIST: Luke Ryan

SOMETHING THOMAS: Dan Debuf

TIGGY THE FACT CHECKER: Paul Verhoeven

VOICE OF EDITORAL GOD: Luke Ryan


MICHAEL CAINE AND HIS NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

MICHAEL CAINE: Paul Verhoeven

LORDS OF LUXURY: Lords of Luxury

PITHY RETORT GUY: Luke Ryan


A VERY BROBOTS CHRISTRON

NARRATOR: Matt Saraceni

LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan

MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni

DANBOT: Dan Debuf

PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven

ROBODEAN Q. BASTARDINGTON: Paul Verhoeven

BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf


CENTAUR-CLAUS

NARRATOR: Luke Ryan

CENTAUR-CLAUS: Dan Debuf


ANGUS AND MIRANDA

ANGUS: Matt Saraceni

MIRANDA: Sophie Miller

BRO: Dan Debuf

HELGA: Luke Ryan


CHRISTMAS AD EXPLOSION - THE DOUBTFIRE VERSION:

MRS. DOUBTFIRE: Paul Verhoeven


BRUNO PHELPS IN "GUMSHOE"

BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan

SENSEI: Dan Debuf

SUPER DETECTIVE O'HALLORATTY: Dan Debuf


AN INTERVIEW SKETCH RELATED TO SANTA

PERSON ONE: Matt Saraceni

PERSON TWO: Paul Verhoeven

EXTRA CHARACTER: Dan Debuf


LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS - REPRISE

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni

PERSONAGE OF CHRISTMAS CHEER: Paul Verhoeven 

Comments

Nov 18, 2010

Boners Features: The Lords of Luxury Fuck it Up! (Vol. 4)

We know that when you listen to a Lords of Luxury (tm) podcast all you can notice is the glistening perfection of it, like a (non-A380) Rolls Royce coated in a slathering of delicious gravy and garnished with the finest goat's honey. But I'm here to tell you that underneath that sparkling edifice lurks a horrific underbelly, filled with errors, cock-ups, disasters, swearing, gentle hugging, severe hugging, mistakes, blunders, boo boos, goofs and errata. And even better, we have it all recorded, just for you. So, sit back and enjoy three minutes of frankly embarrassing fare from the not-quite-perfect-but-we're-trying-so-why-do-you-judge-us-so Lords of Luxury.

OMG, MP3!

OMG, ITUNES!

OMG, TWITTER!

OMG, FACEBOOK!

OMG, THIS MAN'S BEARD HAS IT'S OWN DOOR!

Til next time, feeble humans!

[GIF from the amazing If We Don't, Remember Me]

Comments

Nov 11, 2010

Episode Four: The Pitch!

Welcome to Thursday! Or, as the ancient Romans used to call it, Thursday! It's time for the fourth episode in our six part series, THE LORDS OF LUXURY! The past fortnight has been difficult. Sweaty. Filled with doubt, remorse, and the rotting carcasses of long extinct livestock flung at you by your time-travelling neigbour. His name is France. And he's an asshole.

But have no fear! Wipe the Dodo blood from your eyes and squeegee yourself some happy, because this episode of Lords of Luxury is ready and waiting for your EAGER SHINY LIPS. And now, whenever you google "eager shiny lips", you will find this website, and some fairly turgid yet curiously wholesome niche pornography.

ARE YOU READY TO BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH COMEDY? TOO BAD! HERE IT COMES!

*fwap*

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOURTH LORDS OF LUXURY PODCAST!

CLICK HERE TO GET THE HAIRY LITTLE MOTHERLICKER ON ITUNES!

And the fun doesn't stop with the podcast! It continues to crawl onwards, much like the shitty postscript nestled at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, in TWO social networking mediums! That's one more than ONE!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER
!

CLICK HERE TO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK
!

Exciting, right? Again, thankyou SO MUCH for bearing with our technical problems over the past week or so, but rest assured: the podcast is ready and waiting to be downloaded. Tell you friends! Your loved ones! Tell the same friends you already told! They will in NO WAY tell you to shut up already.

In the words of Mussolini referring to his terrifying regime: DOWNLOAD AND SUBSCRIBE YOU SUBSERVIENT PIGS!

X

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Episode Four - Cast List

INTRODUCTIONER/OUTRODUCTIONEER
Paul Verhoeven

BRAINSTORMING (1-5)
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
LUKE: Luke Ryan
MATT: Matt Saraceni
DAN: Dan Debuf
CROONER: Paul Verhoeven
JERRY: Luke Ryan

HALCOMNEWSCHAN
NARRATOR: Luke Ryan
JUSTIN(E) FLEMMENBOK: Paul Verhoeven
JIMBERLEY HALPOINT: Denee Savoia
DOUGLAS P. FINKBEINER: Dan Debuf
MARJORIE BROIMEL: Sophie Miller
FRITZ: Luke Ryan

SCIENCE: ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL
TRUSTED ACTOR: Paul Verhoeven

KISS THIS
NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven
KELSEY GRAMMER: Dan Debuf
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: Matt Saraceni

BRUNO PHELPS IN: "GUMSHOE"
BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
DOC: Dan Debuf

MASTERCLASS WITH CARROT TOP
CARROT TOP: Dan Debuf

THE SNIPPIES
NARRATOR: Paul Verhoven
SHANNON SNIPPY: Matt Saraceni
SANDY SNIPPY née GOLDBERG: Sophie Miller
FRANK: Luke Ryan

BROBOTS
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
DANBOT: Dan Debuf
KATY PERRY: Katy Perry
ROBODEAN: Paul Verhoeven
BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf
LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni
CHIP: Micellaneous

BROS ON LAPTOPS
LUKE: Luke Ryan
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
MATT: Matt Saraceni

A MALEVOLENT MOMENT WITH MALEVOLENT FANG
MALEVOLENT FANG: Dan Debuf
ARTIE LEMAR: Luke Ryan

Comments

Nov 9, 2010

Boners Features: The Lords of Luxury Fuck it Up! (Vol. 3)

 

Hey jerks!

It's been soooo long since the last eMissive from the Lords of Luxury battleship, that you've probably forgotten who we are, so here's a refresher:

PAUL VERHOEVEN: Hufflepuff / Leonardo / John / Jerry / Abed

MATT SARACENI: Gryffindor / Michaelangelo / Ringo / George / Annie

LUKE RYAN: Ravenclaw / Donatello / George / Elaine / Troy

DAN DEBUF: Slytherin / Raphael / Paul / Kramer / Winger


Got it? Good. Episode Three of our li'l poddie got rave reviews too!

"Impeccably scripted, beautifully directed, and filled with fine performances" - Rotten Tomatoes

"Cocksure, impatient, cold, exciting and instinctively perceptive" - Roger Ebert

"A drama of Shakespearean proportions, with the key protagonists all flawed and found wanting" - Urban Cinephile

But it wasn't the smooth and silky ride we've lead you to believe! Piecing together our third episode was a bumpy ride, with pitfalls, potholes, rickety bridges and a troll! So we've cobbled together a collection of gaffes and we're pumping them out as an ego-destroying Boners Features!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE BONERS FEATURES!

CLICK HERE TO GET 'EM ON ITUNES!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US LORDS ON TWITTER!

AND HERE TO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

The Lords of Luxury. More fun than being fellated by a dog.

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