The Lords of Luxury

You hear that, Melbourne? That's the sound of the Lords of Luxury packing themselves into a novelty-sized clown car and hauling ass to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. But unlike the rest of those namby pamby comedians who are doing 20+ shows over the course of four weeks, the Lords of Luxury have decided to do it the hard way and compress all their comic awesomeness into two shows in a single night. For this is the Lords of Luxury – For One Night Only (But Twice In That One Night). LOLFONOBTINTON for short.

Fresh from a run at the Adelaide Fringe Festival where people said awfully nice things about us, like–

...

"These lads are so ridiculous it hurts... Keep your eyes on these guys, a flash in the luxurious pan they ain't" - Adelaide Advertiser

"Go see The Lords of Luxury before they slip through your comedy fingers, because LOL. Seriously, LOL." - Australian Stage

"A myriad of awkwardly hilarious sketch comedies... It was brilliant" - Rip It Up

...

– the Lords are primed, erect and ready and ready to take you on a comedy journey unlike any you've ever been on before. Unless you already saw us in Adelaide, in which case you will find this comedy journey uncannily familiar.

So, book the sitter, clear your schedule and chain your grandparents to the post in the backyard, because on the 17th of April you've got a date with the finest (and perhaps only) tuxedo-based sketch comedy this country has to offer. 7 pm or 9 pm – the choice is yours. Attendance, however, is definitely mandatory.

BOOK HERE AND BOOK NOW.

OR BOOK HERE AND BOOK NOW. IT'S THE SAME LINK, BUT I'VE INCLUDED IT JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THE FIRST ONE DURING YOUR CURSORY GLANCE OF THE ARTICLE TEXT. IN WHICH CASE, SHAME ON YOU. I SLAVED FOR MINUTES, LITERALLY MINUTES, ON WRITING THIS AND YOU JUST SKIM ON PAST AS IF IT WAS NOTHING. FOR SHAME. FOR SHAAAAAAAAAAME. PLEASE COME TO OUR SHOW.

You know how sometimes you wish for something really, really hard and it comes true? Well, we wished really, really, really hard and then Paul got off that double murder charge and now the Lords of Luxury can come to the Adelaide Fringe Festival! Party! (Although Paul's not allowed within 50 metres of any enclosed shopping centres).

Here is our poster.

As you can see, we are hanging out with our friend, Napoleon. Just try and tell us you don't want to see comedy that has been endorsed by THE Napoleon. He was in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure!

You can also see that our Melbourne Comedy Festival show was rapturously received by the critics. A near continuous hour of laughter? Phwoar. I don't even get that from my Aunt Ethel's semi-annual experiments with public ketamine ingestion.

If you're in Adelaide you simply MUST come and see it. No, you actually must. The city just passed a by-law making attendance mandatory. And who are we to argue with City Hall?

Tickets are here.

Buy them! Buy them now! Buy them before Paul kills again!

Hello! And welcome to the Lords of Luxury!(.com) We hope that you enjoy your stay. Here are some things that you, yes, you, need to know about us. Yes, us.

1. We are four gentlemen named Paul, Luke, Matt and Dan with a passion for comedy, a zest for life and opposable thumbs. You can read more about us and our magical thumbs here.

2. We are also a SIX EPISODE SKETCH COMEDY PODCAST! Six whole episodes! That's 120 minutes of cold, hard quality. Do some pre-show research and have a listen - you can find them in MP3 form or else you can just cut out the middle man and subscribe to us on iTunes.

3. Matt once saw an actual walrus. He was talking about it for weeks.

4. The show may or may not involve a sketch that revolves around one of us having to eat a bucket of meat. Yummo.

6. Luke has an aversion to the number five.

7. Please come and see our show. It runs from the 12th to the 24th of April, Tuesday to Sunday at 6 pm (5 pm Sundays) in Vic's Bar at the Victoria Hotel, 215 Little Collins St.

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS TO OUR INCREDIBLE SHOW FROM THIS LINK WHOOOOOOOOOA DO IT DO IT NOW

It is almost upon us! Are you excited?! I know we are. Especially Paul.

Hark, dear listeners, hark, for the end... the end is nigh! The end of laughter, the end of joy, the end of hope.

The end of The Lords of Luxury.

What pleasures will our final episode hold? What horrors? What ill-advised cameos? What snacks? What words beginning with Q? What awkwardly jammed in callbacks? There's only one way to find out: breaking into one of our Google accounts and then accessing the original scripts.

Oh.

I have just been informed that there is indeed a second way you can find out. Namely, by downloading and listening to the final episode of the podcast.

Probably should have thought of that first really.

DOWNLOAD THE MP3 HERE

SUBSCRIBE TO US ON ITUNES HERE (YES I KNOW THIS IS THE FINAL EPISODE BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN WERE GOING TO DROP SOME MORE COMEDY BOMBS ON YOUR SWEET, UNSUSPECTING EARHOLES SO YOU PROBABLY SHOULD SUBSCRIBE JUST TO BE SAFE. AFTER ALL YOU DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY KID ON THE BLOCK THAT HASN'T HEARD THE LATEST LORDS OF LUXURY PODCAST DO YOU? WOW WHAT A LONG HYPERLINK)

FOLLOW US ON THE TWITTERS OVER HERE

LOVE US ON FACEBOOK HERE

AND WATCH A CAMEL DESTROY CHRISTMAS OVER HERE

And do rest easy loyal followers, because you haven't heard the last of The Lords of Luxury. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you've just heard the first!... six episodes. Of The Lords of Luxury.

But exciting things are afoot, for the Lords are performing a live action stage show spectacular at next year's Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Keep your eyes, ears and fingers peeled (ouch!) over the coming months because we'll be dumping periodic updates on this very website/Twitter feed/Facebook page to let you know how we're getting on and how you can send romantic letters to us.

And now as we bid you a fond and temporary adieu, we say thanks for coming along with us on this magical journey of laughter and friendship and FUCK THIS SHIT LET'S PARTY!

INTRODUCTIONEER/OUTRODUCTIONEER

Paul Verhoeven

THE LORDS OF LUXURY SAVE THE DAY

NARRATOR: Luke Ryan
LONE SCIENTIST: Matt Saraceni
JIMMY: Dan Debuf
MATT: Matt Saraceni
DAN: Dan Debuf
LUKE: Luke Ryan
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
MRS PRESIDENT: Sophie Miller
GIBBERING MANIAC: Luke Ryan
MARRAKECH TOURIST INFORMATION BOOTH ASSISTANT: Luke Ryan
DIRTY SANCHEZ: Luke Ryan
AIDEN: Dan Debuf
MICKEY ROONEY: Luke Ryan
CLOUD WHO IS A VENDOR BUT YOU CAN’T TELL BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE THIS IS JUST A CHARACTER NAME: Matt Saraceni

BROBOTS

MASTEROFCEREMONIESBOT: Dan Debuf
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
DANBOT: Dan Debuf
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
CHIP: Dan Debuf
ROBODEAN: Paul Verhoeven
BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf

BRUNO PHELPS IN: "GUMSHOE"

BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
THELMA: Sophie Miller

We Lords are not a very professional bunch. For example, we totally forgot to release a podcast last week! Whoops!

We're remedying this in two (3) ways:

We're releasing the bloopers from podcast five! Hear exactly how unprofessional we are as we fluff difficult lines like "six siths' crisp snacks" and "yes". Fun for the whole faminey!

MP3 HERE! HERE! HERE!

and
 
iTUNES LINK HERE! HERE! HERE! 

And also, we're releasing the much awaited sixth podcast this Thursday! It's the final LoL for the season, and so it features all of us, plus special celebrity guest, Wilmer Valderama! So just-

... oh...

... wait ...

Ummmm, sorry to get all "Sarah Murdoch" on you, but Wilmer has had to cancel at the eleventh hour, due to the fact that he is neither special nor a celebrity. Oh well! Even sans Wilmer, this podcast will be at least a six out of ten. And it's out this Thursday!

As you were, Luxembourgers!

Leslie Nielsen has died, aged 308. Nielsen is one of the most prominent influences on the Lords of Luxury, and so here's a breakdown of exactly who he is, and just how deeply he's touched us. And we mean that in the most provocative sense. The first role taken by Leslie Nielsen which grabbed people's attention was this:

Yeah, that's a young Leslie Nielsen, looking all studly, as the lead in the 1956 science fiction masterpiece Forbidden Planet. Just check out that jawline. Holy shit, you could slice a venison sandwich in half on it. The point is, he began his career in dead earnest; he always had comic timing, but he picked films that were serious. Hell, Forbidden Planet was modelled after The Tempest. Nielsen even lent his name to the American Board of Certification, who had just instigated a system to be used for rating the public's ardour or disdain for the burgeoning 'talkies'. They named this system 'The Nielsen's', a name both comforting and arousing. The name so captured the public imagination that Warner commissioned a soap opera, called The Nielsen's, about a family of chiselled men living in a log cabin in the mountainous district near the Rockies dubbed by locals 'Cockhard McManCove'. The series was never produced.

Nielsen's ability to appeal to women, young, old and even deceased, may be due to his being born in the town of Regina, Saskatchewan. Throughout the fifties, he appeared in a wide array of dramatic roles, bagels and danishes. However it wasn't until 1980 that he graduated from his degree in Televisionistic Ambulation, a strictly honorary degree written into his extensive performers contract after a drunken evening with his agent and a gibbon known as Phil Spector III. Already white-haired and something of a veteran, he was cast in Airplane!, a parody of various movies which were addressing the looming threat to the nations youth at the time: the stewardess. He also delivered one of his most famous lines:



Part of his genius was his ability to appear impervious to comedy. He was the serious trustworthy actor who just didn't get it. This astounding ability, coupled with his bewilderingly enormous genitals, led to the creators of Airplane! asking him to create Police Squad with them. Police Squad only lasted six episodes, and apart from being one of the most searingly well written and acted comedies of all time, it also contained brilliant epilogues, all of which you can see below. Spoiler alert: they contain cast lists, which, if typed into google, MIGHT reveal plot points of the episodes of Police Squad or, if you're really lucky, the season finale of Dallas.



Six years after the totally bullshit cancellation of Police Squad (for which Nielsen was nominated for the Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series Emmy), the creators decided to make a feature length film version for moviegoers. If you weren't a moviegoer, you were told to fuck right off. The series exploded into a trilogy, combining the razor-sharp timing of Nielsen, the harsh weathered face of Priscilla Presley, and the impending and hilarious non-glove fittery of O.J. Simpson.



It's pretty much mandatory to get all three films and watch them; they're peppered with comedic genius, as well as actual pepper, which was included with the original film prints as they were distributed to the cinemas. Nielsen's comedic roles after Naked Gun ranged from solid in Mel Brooks' Dracula: Dead and Loving It, to making everyone else look bad in Scary Movie 3.

It's a terrible traginold that he died, and we're eternally grateful for what Nielsen has done for comedy. He strolled into our lives, kicked everything we owned in dicks we didn't know the things we owned had, and walked away with a totally straight face. He was a pioneer, a shameless and entirely deliberate ham, and by all accounts, a shit-hot golfer. And the world is poorer without him. Although this is due partly to the fact that Nielsen, as everyone knows, had his bones filled with gold.

We'll miss you, Leslie.

- The Lords of Luxury

INTRODUCTIONEER / OUTRODUCTIONEER:

Paul Verhoeven

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS:

PRESENTER: Dan Debuf

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni

MORTICIAN: Luke Ryan

PERSONAGE OF HOLIDAY CHEER: Paul Verhoeven

CHRISTMAS AD EXPLOSION:

ENTHUSED NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven

JESUS AND FRIENDS

NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven

PETER: Matt Saraceni

JESUS T. CHRIST: Luke Ryan

SOMETHING THOMAS: Dan Debuf

TIGGY THE FACT CHECKER: Paul Verhoeven

VOICE OF EDITORAL GOD: Luke Ryan

MICHAEL CAINE AND HIS NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

MICHAEL CAINE: Paul Verhoeven

LORDS OF LUXURY: Lords of Luxury

PITHY RETORT GUY: Luke Ryan

A VERY BROBOTS CHRISTRON

NARRATOR: Matt Saraceni

LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan

MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni

DANBOT: Dan Debuf

PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven

ROBODEAN Q. BASTARDINGTON: Paul Verhoeven

BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf

CENTAUR-CLAUS

NARRATOR: Luke Ryan

CENTAUR-CLAUS: Dan Debuf

ANGUS AND MIRANDA

ANGUS: Matt Saraceni

MIRANDA: Sophie Miller

BRO: Dan Debuf

HELGA: Luke Ryan

CHRISTMAS AD EXPLOSION - THE DOUBTFIRE VERSION:

MRS. DOUBTFIRE: Paul Verhoeven

BRUNO PHELPS IN "GUMSHOE"

BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan

SENSEI: Dan Debuf

SUPER DETECTIVE O'HALLORATTY: Dan Debuf

AN INTERVIEW SKETCH RELATED TO SANTA

PERSON ONE: Matt Saraceni

PERSON TWO: Paul Verhoeven

EXTRA CHARACTER: Dan Debuf

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS - REPRISE

LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni

PERSONAGE OF CHRISTMAS CHEER: Paul Verhoeven 

We know that when you listen to a Lords of Luxury (tm) podcast all you can notice is the glistening perfection of it, like a (non-A380) Rolls Royce coated in a slathering of delicious gravy and garnished with the finest goat's honey. But I'm here to tell you that underneath that sparkling edifice lurks a horrific underbelly, filled with errors, cock-ups, disasters, swearing, gentle hugging, severe hugging, mistakes, blunders, boo boos, goofs and errata. And even better, we have it all recorded, just for you. So, sit back and enjoy three minutes of frankly embarrassing fare from the not-quite-perfect-but-we're-trying-so-why-do-you-judge-us-so Lords of Luxury.

OMG, MP3!

OMG, ITUNES!

OMG, TWITTER!

OMG, FACEBOOK!

OMG, THIS MAN'S BEARD HAS IT'S OWN DOOR!

Til next time, feeble humans!

[GIF from the amazing If We Don't, Remember Me]

Welcome to Thursday! Or, as the ancient Romans used to call it, Thursday! It's time for the fourth episode in our six part series, THE LORDS OF LUXURY! The past fortnight has been difficult. Sweaty. Filled with doubt, remorse, and the rotting carcasses of long extinct livestock flung at you by your time-travelling neigbour. His name is France. And he's an asshole.

But have no fear! Wipe the Dodo blood from your eyes and squeegee yourself some happy, because this episode of Lords of Luxury is ready and waiting for your EAGER SHINY LIPS. And now, whenever you google "eager shiny lips", you will find this website, and some fairly turgid yet curiously wholesome niche pornography.

ARE YOU READY TO BE HIT IN THE FACE WITH COMEDY? TOO BAD! HERE IT COMES!

*fwap*

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOURTH LORDS OF LUXURY PODCAST!

CLICK HERE TO GET THE HAIRY LITTLE MOTHERLICKER ON ITUNES!

And the fun doesn't stop with the podcast! It continues to crawl onwards, much like the shitty postscript nestled at the end of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, in TWO social networking mediums! That's one more than ONE!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!

CLICK HERE TO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

Exciting, right? Again, thankyou SO MUCH for bearing with our technical problems over the past week or so, but rest assured: the podcast is ready and waiting to be downloaded. Tell you friends! Your loved ones! Tell the same friends you already told! They will in NO WAY tell you to shut up already.

In the words of Mussolini referring to his terrifying regime: DOWNLOAD AND SUBSCRIBE YOU SUBSERVIENT PIGS!

X

INTRODUCTIONER/OUTRODUCTIONEER
Paul Verhoeven

BRAINSTORMING (1-5)
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
LUKE: Luke Ryan
MATT: Matt Saraceni
DAN: Dan Debuf
CROONER: Paul Verhoeven
JERRY: Luke Ryan

HALCOMNEWSCHAN
NARRATOR: Luke Ryan
JUSTIN(E) FLEMMENBOK: Paul Verhoeven
JIMBERLEY HALPOINT: Denee Savoia
DOUGLAS P. FINKBEINER: Dan Debuf
MARJORIE BROIMEL: Sophie Miller
FRITZ: Luke Ryan

SCIENCE: ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL
TRUSTED ACTOR: Paul Verhoeven

KISS THIS
NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven
KELSEY GRAMMER: Dan Debuf
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: Matt Saraceni

BRUNO PHELPS IN: "GUMSHOE"
BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
DOC: Dan Debuf

MASTERCLASS WITH CARROT TOP
CARROT TOP: Dan Debuf

THE SNIPPIES
NARRATOR: Paul Verhoven
SHANNON SNIPPY: Matt Saraceni
SANDY SNIPPY née GOLDBERG: Sophie Miller
FRANK: Luke Ryan

BROBOTS
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
DANBOT: Dan Debuf
KATY PERRY: Katy Perry
ROBODEAN: Paul Verhoeven
BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf
LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni
CHIP: Micellaneous

BROS ON LAPTOPS
LUKE: Luke Ryan
PAUL: Paul Verhoeven
MATT: Matt Saraceni

A MALEVOLENT MOMENT WITH MALEVOLENT FANG
MALEVOLENT FANG: Dan Debuf
ARTIE LEMAR: Luke Ryan

Hey jerks!

It's been soooo long since the last eMissive from the Lords of Luxury battleship, that you've probably forgotten who we are, so here's a refresher:

PAUL VERHOEVEN: Hufflepuff / Leonardo / John / Jerry / Abed

MATT SARACENI: Gryffindor / Michaelangelo / Ringo / George / Annie

LUKE RYAN: Ravenclaw / Donatello / George / Elaine / Troy

DAN DEBUF: Slytherin / Raphael / Paul / Kramer / Winger


Got it? Good. Episode Three of our li'l poddie got rave reviews too!

"Impeccably scripted, beautifully directed, and filled with fine performances" - Rotten Tomatoes

"Cocksure, impatient, cold, exciting and instinctively perceptive" - Roger Ebert

"A drama of Shakespearean proportions, with the key protagonists all flawed and found wanting" - Urban Cinephile

But it wasn't the smooth and silky ride we've lead you to believe! Piecing together our third episode was a bumpy ride, with pitfalls, potholes, rickety bridges and a troll! So we've cobbled together a collection of gaffes and we're pumping them out as an ego-destroying Boners Features!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE BONERS FEATURES!

CLICK HERE TO GET 'EM ON ITUNES!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US LORDS ON TWITTER!

AND HERE TO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

The Lords of Luxury. More fun than being fellated by a dog.

Hot tuna! Can you believe it's been a fortnight since Lords of Luxury Podcast Two redefined humour? (Seriously: the OED now defines humour as: "humour (n): 1. the quality of being amusing or comic; 2. to avoid any doubt, DEFINITELY NOT the "Lords of Luxury". Impressive!).

But we promised a fist-pumpingly-good newie every two weeks, and like the stork, we delivered!

CLICK HERE TO GET THE THIRD LORDS OF LUXURY PODCAST!

CLICK HERE TO GET THE SUCKER ON ITUNES!

And the fun doesn't stop with the podcast! It continues in two social networking mediums!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER!

CLICK HERE TO LIKE US ON FACEBOOK!

Phwoar! What a beautiful world we live in! A shaggy man can violently suggest new footwear for our ex-PM, a psychic octopus can have the most delicious death ever, and twenty (ish) minutes of sound can bring joy into your life via a series of interconnected computers.

Happy downloading, luxuriants!

INTRODUCTIONER/OUTRODUCTIONEER
Paul Verhoeven

THE ONLY SHOP OPEN THIS LATE
SHOPKEEPER: Dan Debuf
"CUSTOMER": Luke Ryan

TURKEYS
CALENDAR: Paul Verhoeven
TURKEY: Dan Debuf

FIR SURE
NARRATOR: Paul Verhoeven

BRUNO PHELPS IN: "GUMSHOE"
BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
THELMA: Sophie Miller

A MEAL AT SIZZLER
FATHER: Luke Ryan
SON: Matt Saraceni

THE HUMAN SANTAPEDE
NARRATOR: Dan Debuf
SCIENTIST: Paul Verhoeven
LITTLE BILLY: Matt Saraceni
FRONT SANTA: Luke Ryan
MIDDLE SANTA: Luke Ryan

BROBOTS!
NARRATOR: Matt Saraceni
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
DANBOT: Dan Debuf
LITTLE ORPHAN ANDY: Matt Saraceni
ROBODEAN: Paul Verhoeven
BENNY DISEASES: Dan Debuf

THE DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY TO JINGLE ALL THE WAY
DVD VOICEOVER: Luke Ryan
UNFORTUNATE VIEWER: Matt Saraceni
BRIAN LEVANT: Paul Verhoeven
JAKE LLOYD: Dan Debuf
KIM BASINGER: Sophie Miller

Welcome to Monday! Or, if you're reading this on a day other than Monday, welcome to that specific day. Whatever the case, HI. HOPE YOU'RE WELL. This week (see previous rant for similar joke), we're releasing Episode 3 of our podcast, The Lords of Luxury; in fact, we're doing so on Halloween, aka THE FESTIVAL OF DIABETES AND PRANKS. And what better way to get you all moist and ready than with a sketch?

Answer: There is no better way.

This particular sketch was meant to be in Episode 1 - Genesis, but didn't make the cut because it would have put us over time. The credits are below, as are links to download it directly, or from itunes.

PRANK CALLER

Shockington F. Jockulus: Dan Debuf

Stephen Hawking: Paul Verhoeven

Jenny Fromulus Montana: Paul Verhoeven

DOWNLOAD FROM ITUNES HERE!

OR DOWNLOAD FROM HERE HERE! HERE HERE!

As usual, feel free to not only download the podcast, but ingest it, let it infect you, and then breathe out in the form of rancid spores. When these spores are inhaled by influential nearby people, we're SURE to become famous! FAMOUS! TOTALLY FAMOUS! HUGE HUGE MINK COATS AND GOLD PAGODAS!

Love,

The Lords of Luxury.

Pictured: The Lords of Luxury having fun along with original and now deceased cast member, Tony Longbottom

What comes after one? Why, two of course! Unless you're Italian, in which case the answer is five. But I'm pretty sure we don't have any Italians in our listenership - and if we do, they can't read - so two it is! And two episodes of the Lords of Luxury means two editions of our already much vaunted and derided (note: must look up meaning of 'derided' - it sounds good, is it? - EDIT THIS SENTENCE OUT BEFORE POSTING) bloopers reel, The Lords of Luxury Fuck it Up! Discover the magic and mystery behind the non-stop LoL-lercoaster that is the Lords of Luxury with 3:45 of bad accents, profuse swearing and jaunty music. It will almost certainly be better than the hideous abysm that is the rest of your mediocre existence.

YOU CAN GET A DIRECT MP3 LINK BY CLICKING ON THIS SENTENCE.

YOU CAN DOWNLOAD IT FROM ITUNES BY CLICKING ON THIS ONE.

YOU CAN WATCH A WOMAN SMASHING A WATERMELON WITH HER BREASTS ON SOME KIND OF GERMAN TALENT SHOW BY CLICKING ON THIS ONE.

OR YOU CAN JUST CLICK THIS ONE AND BE TRANSPORTED ALONG A MAGICAL RAINBOW ROAD TO THE SOOTHING SOUNDS OF CHRIS DE BURGH

Fans, it is with a heavy heart that we feel forced to write this missive. You see, in the wake of our vast success several "tribute groups" have sprung up, which are in fact flimsy imitations of the original Lords of Luxury you've come to know and love (i.e. us)

PLEASE DO NOT DOWNLOAD ANY PODCASTS / BUY ANY MERCH / MAKE OUT WITH ANY OF THE FOLLOWING GROUPS:

The Lairds of Luxurie
The Lords of Lavishness
Larry's Lampoon Lords
Ricky Gervais
Leo's Louche Lords of Laughter
The Lloyds of Luxury (with their infamous "Carton of Tindersticks" sketch)
Lolcats
The Lovable Lords of Lolworthiness
The Legends of Largesse
Monty Python's Flying Circus
The Lukewarm Loggerheads of Latvia


PLEASE CEASE CONTACT WITH THESE COMEDY TROUPES IMMEDIATELY! FOR THE GOOD OF YOUR SANITY!

Instead return here every second Thursday to hear more of the podcast that has variously been described (on iTunes) as "Stupendous", "Awesome", "Hilarious" and "Incredibly laboured and unfunny". But we're pretty sure that last one was written with an ironic flourish that we, the Lords of Luxury, would recognise and respect... Right?

Right.

OH GOD WHY DON'T YOU LOVE US?!?!?!

Holy crap! It's been a fortnight, which means it's time for the second episode of THE LORDS OF LUXURY! Warning: the first episode is pretty much required listening. As is removing your pants before hitting play.

YOU CAN GET AT THE SECOND EPISODE ON ITUNES BY CLICKING HERE!

YOU CAN ALSO GET IT FROM THIS WEBSITE!

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHO PLAYED WHO, CLICK HERE FOR A CAST LIST!

And remember, TELL YOUR FRIENDS! Pass this comedy podcast ever onwards like a filthy diseased filthy thing!

You can also follow us on twitter, join the facebook group, OR learn about our views on dating and religion!

GO FORTH!

GO!

The second episode is out THIS THURSDAY. THURS. DAY. Oh God, it's so close I can almost taste it. And it tastes like gravel. No. Sorry. That is gravel... Wait, why am I eating gravel?

INTRODUCTIONER/OUTRODUCTIONEER

Paul Verhoeven

EPISODE TWO (in order of appearance)

NARRATOR: Dan Debuf
ASSORTED WOMEN: Assorted Women
LUKE RYAN: Luke Ryan
MATT SARACENI: Matt Saraceni
DAN DEBUF: Dan Debuf
PAUL VERHOEVEN: Paul Verhoeven
IRATE COPPER: Dan Debuf
BRUNO PHELPS: Luke Ryan
THELMA: Sophie Miller
INTERVIEWER: Dan Debuf
ASSORTED WOMEN: Assorted Women
DAVID LETTERMAN: David Letterman
JAPANESE LYCHEE SCREAM SPRUIKER: Paul Verhoeven
THE COMFORT FIST CROONERS: Paul Verhoeven and Luke Ryan
TRAGINOLD: Dan Debuf
ROBERT WOLLINGTON: Robert Wollington
LUKEBOT: Luke Ryan
PAULBOT: Paul Verhoeven
MATTBOT: Matt Saraceni
DANBOT: Robert Wollington
ANGRY ATTENDEE: Luke Ryan
CHIP: Miscellaneous